literature

Dusty

Deviation Actions

Published: Dec 8, 2009

1.2K Views

Literature Text

I put on my sin, a dirty old coat
Comfortable, well-worn skin;
Everything is spotty today,
The world through scratched lenses
Moves in and out of focus.

That hard drive head crash wail
Assails my ears and
Discernment rails my fear
Toward the inevitable
Clear thought:

I am desert dusty,
Wrinkle-filled,
Crusty, lusty, musty -
Unwashed and unwashable
But for the bathing
Sin scathing light
Of truth.

Only one kind of bath can clean this kind of grime.

[NOTE: I made a couple minor changes per comments.]

I would like to hear what people think about this, specifically two things: Rhythm. I think the second stanza in particular is a little difficult to get through (as read aloud) but I try to follow a progressive shortening/quickening of pace to the final verse.

Second, the topic. I tend to write a lot of spiritual poetry, struggles with sin, for example, and wonder if people really appreciate that or not.

Thank you!